By Ryan Ross, LPC Associate Supervised by Heidi Johanson, LPC-S
Being a private therapist can bring challenges around outcomes, self-care, and adapting to each client’s needs. Over-focusing on results or techniques can undermine connection, while slowing down and giving space can sometimes add to frustration or feelings of stuckness. Both therapists and clients bring expertise to the work, and pacing—whether in sessions or in life—is about finding what fits best in the moment. There’s no perfect formula, and that’s okay.
TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read)
Directive, Person-Centered, Solution-Focused, Eclectic, Standard Workday, Evenings, Weekends—these are just some of the many considerations that make being a private therapist both amazing and intimidating. Some weeks you may feel energized seeing 30+ clients, while in other weeks 15 may feel like too much. Sessions can sometimes feel stuck at a standstill, or like they’re moving at breakneck speed. Paying attention to pacing, both as a clinician and a person, can be vital for self-care, regulation, and ultimately client outcomes.
Balancing Outcomes and Connection
Outcomes are always a tricky balance. We need them for insurance, for feeling good about our impact as clinicians, and because we live in a system where results are expected daily. But if we focus too much on data, techniques, or agendas, we risk losing not only our connection with clients, but also our connection with ourselves.
I’ve recently noticed myself feeling stuck on what “goals” should look like—both in my personal life and with my clients. This often adds pressure, or sometimes avoidance, around moving toward growth. That misaligned pressure matters for who I want to be, but the urgency doesn’t always align with what I need to do right now. This sometimes carries into sessions, where the pattern becomes: “What’s today’s issue?” and “How do we get to today’s catharsis?” While that approach works for some clients, for most it takes away from the deeper processing and weight therapy can hold when done intentionally.
Learning from Research and Clients
A journal article by Shilts et al. (2003) describes delaying the “miracle question” and repeating it. Instead of answering immediately—“If you woke up tomorrow and things could be different, what would that look like?”—clients were invited to bring their answers to the next session. This gave them more time to process.
On the other hand, I have a client whose goal is to work things out independently, but who also wanted tools to help remind them of emotional dysregulation when approaching conflict. The article by Schwabish helped clarify for me that clients carry expertise in their own areas of opportunity, and they can advocate for support that draws from our expertise.
Pacing in Therapy and Life
These reflections have helped me pay closer attention to pacing—both in sessions and in my own life. Some weeks I may have multiple doctor’s appointments and need to sacrifice my exercise goals. A client may shift from being eager to process trauma to simply needing space to laugh and have fun in session. Some weeks I say yes to every marketing event, while other weeks I say no to all of them.
There isn’t a single right or wrong way to pace therapy or life. There are just ways that align more closely with what works for you and your clients. I’ll never have it fully figured out, and that’s okay.
Thanks for bearing with my first blog post! It’s a little all over the place, but for me, it’s also a place to gather my thoughts in a way that might feel relatable. I hope this encourages you to share your voice too. Life is always changing—you can change with it, or stay steady in what you’re doing. Either way can work.
References:
- The Collaborative Miracle: When to Slow Down the Pace of Brief Therapy – Shilts et al., (2003)
- A Person-Centered Approach to Supporting Communication – Schwabish